The light was casting through the trees. Everything had a golden glow to it. The flowers danced in the shadows as the breeze blew past. It’s October, and I’m in love. In love with the pumpkin flavors, the sound of the winds as the leaves dance through the grass, and did I mention pumpkin flavored everything? Oh, ok good. That’s an important part. I was in a park this week photographing a garden after a long day of long boarding. I look up to see a man walking over to me. He has a gentle smile and I smile at him. He nervously smiles back at me and engages me in conversation. He introduces himself; his name is James. We talk of camera models and tech. He sees that I am shooting with an 18-55 basic camera lens . He asks if I would like to use one of his lenses and offers me a fish eye macro lens.
I squeal at him and exclaim “Are you kidding me?!? Of course I do!” I remove my dusty, worn lens and hand it to him. He hands me the fish eye lens. I had never used one, and it was a really exciting moment for me. I attach it to my camera and begin focusing on a nearby rose. As I am photographing I hear him and what he says shocked me. “I saw a beautiful lady taking photos, how could I not come talk to you?” he says to me. I freeze. What do I say back? I look away from my subject and catch his glance. I smile timidly, thank him, and turn away, looking at the LCD display screen on my camera.
The photo is beautiful. I am at a loss for words. It’s only one word. Beautiful: pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically. My husband has always told me that I’m beautiful. However, I always felt like they were just words; something you say to someone to make them feel good. James had not been the first to tell me that I was beautiful since I had started my weight loss journey. Plenty of others had told me that I was beautiful, even before I started losing weight. I had always just shrugged it off as words.
For the first time in my life, I believed him. This stranger saw me as beautiful. He saw the happiness that emanated from within me. He saw me, and I was enough. I was finally enough for myself, and for a brief moment I let go of all the anger, sadness, and struggle and realized that for all of my faults, my mistakes, and misdoings, I am beautiful.
I am beautiful, and so are you. You are and always have been. You are special and amazing and capable. You are the answer to all the questions you feel were never answered. Happiness and love come from within. “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony” -Mahatma Gandhi. Wake up every morning and think about how incredible you are. Tell yourself about all of the wonderful things in your life. Be the change you want to see. Make healthy choices, keep happy friends, and live the life you’ve always dreamed of. Losing weight won’t make you happy. Being happy will allow you to let yourself lose the weight. You are important, you matter, and you are beautiful. -Elsie
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